show_my_cannons | 13 - [Video] / Action for Goldenrod

[Somewhere in Goldenrod, there is a cafe. Or a take out place. Either way, it's currently being invaded by a giant alien robot turned human. Since he arrived, he's been surviving on the Pokemon world's version of energy bars. So, for the first time, he's gone to find some "real food".]

[The 'gear turns on to show the big man crowded at a small table, looking down, somewhat skeptically, at an equally large sandwich. Seriously, it's almost the size of his face.]

[He manages to pick it up. Stares at it. Veeeeeeeeeeery cautiously, he takes a bite out of it.]

[There's a beat of silence, as he looks at it again. His expression suggests he has just tasted the best thing ever on the face of the earth and he's having a hard time not shoving it all into his face. It probably looks absolutely bizarre to anyone who isn't aware that he was not always human.]

[And within the next few minutes, half the sandwich is quickly devoured. You'd think he hadn't eaten in weeks. That's when he pauses, and regards the flashing red light.]

... Fine. You win.

[Who is he speaking to? Who knows. This is just a very pleased Autobot.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Try... what now?

Pizza!

It's only, like. The next most delicious thing after burgers.

[Heather, you're going to give the old man a heart attack.]

That explains nothing.

_{[Okay, okay, fine. She'll introduce him to some fruits and veggies after he tries pizza, all right?]}

Okay, so.

It's like bread... but with tomato sauce on it and then cheese and then... whatever else people think would taste good, and it's shoved into an oven and cooked.

And then you eat it.

And it's amazing.

... So it... is like the sandwich?

If you mean in terms of deliciousness, yes.

No. I mean... if you took the top off the sandwich.

Eeeeehhh... not quite.

Unless that sandwich has tomato sauce on it.

I think you're just gonna have to try one eventually.

It has... hmn.

[He peers at it, clearly lost in deep, serious thoughts.]

... What is tomato sauce?

_{[Food is SERIOUS BUSINESS, man.]}

... Uh... sauce. Made from tomatoes.

... Not to be confused with ketchup, which is also kind of a sauce and also made from tomatoes, but... more processed, I guess. ... Actually, if that's a burger, there's probably ketchup ON there.

[HUMANS ARE WEIRD.]

Tomatoes...?

[Heather, you're assuming Ironhide has any clue at all what it is you're talking about.]

_{[Oh right she keeps forgetting you DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. Jeez, old man! It's like you're from OUTER SPACE or something.]}

They're a kinda fruit. They grow on a vine, and... um.

Kinda look nasty on the inside, but they TASTE awesome, soooo...

... There might be some on your sandwich, actually. There any flat circular red sliced thingies full of gooey orange seed things in the middle in there?

[Hold on. He's... going to dig through the sandwich. Messily.]

[This may take some time.]

[Finally, he pulls one out, and eyes it.]

It does... look bad.

I know, right? They look TOTALLY gross.

I used to pick 'em out of my food when I was little because I thought the seeds were like... half-developed larvae or something. Drove Dad nuts.

But seriously, they actually taste pretty awesome.

'Specially when they're combined with other stuff-- like in that sandwich.

[At her description... Ironhide drops the tomato. No way is he going to eat that, now.]

[Good work, Heather.]

I am... done with them.

_{[She really needs to learn to keep her mouth shut sometimes.]}

Wh-- aww, come on, don't be a big baby!

You were eating them like two minutes ago in that sandwich and they were fine!

And now you have made them... unpleasant.

_{[Heather groans loudly.]}

Aw c'monnnn... what're you gonna do, pick 'em all out of the sandwich?

_{[LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS FIVE?]}

Yes.

[THAT IS CLEARLY THE BEST SOLUTION HERE.]

_{[Heather stares. Like "... Really?"]

[And then throws her arms up in the air, grumbling.]}

Fine, jeez! Have it your way.

_{Giant fussy toddler...}

Fine. I will.

_{[She'll just... watch him do that.]}

... For the record, you can ask them to NOT include tomatoes on your sandwiches, if you want.

Y'know.

And they won't.

_{[She doesn't want him to be put off of sandwiches ENTIRELY, obviously.]}

Your record is noted.

[But he's still going to get every last goddamn tomato off this thing.]

_{[EVEN THE SEEDS? Every single little seed?]}

But man, don't let this ruin everything MADE from tomatoes for you. Seriously. It's not all gross.

Tomato sauce is AMAZING. ... And it doesn't even look like tomatoes. ... 'Cept that it's red too.

[Every single seed.]

Uh huh. We will see.

[Video]

foolishwren - 2011-10-24 01:19 (UTC) - Expand