show_my_cannons | 6 - [Video / Action for Violet]

[What's this? Oh, look, it's Ironhide. And he appears to be training two of his pokemon -- a Teddiursa and an Aron. What's he training them to do, you ask?]

[Well. They appear to be attacking a tree trunk. A tree trunk with a crude stick figure and a spiky logo carved into it. The two pokemon are taking turns practicing their attacks on the tree, while Ironhide paces behind them, barking orders, in true military fashion. His Onix is visible behind the tree, watching curiously as they work. She looks a little scuffed up -- clearly, she hasn't escaped the training regimen either.]

[Eventually, he nods, and steps back.]

Good. Enough.

[That said, Ironhide limps over to his Onix to look her over. While his back is turned, Jaws the Teddiursa looks at Egg the Aron, before growling, and pouncing on it. Egg yips, butting at Jaws, and before you know it, there's a scuffle going on as Jaws bites at Egg, and Egg retaliates in scratches and tackles. It looks as if Egg has the upper hand, with his tough armor and heavier body but... suddenly... there's a bright flash.]

[And instead of a little Teddiursa, Egg is now confronted by a very large, very angry Ursaring. The bear pokemon roars in triumph and takes a menacing step toward Egg. The little Aron squeaks, but holds his ground. And... appears to be tensing up. As if he's concentrating very hard.]

[There's a second flash. By now, Ironhide has turned around, staring in confusion at his pokemon.]

What--

[It would appear that, not to be outdone by his companion, Egg decided to evolve in a fit of pique. Scowling, Ironhide does the only thing he can do, at this point. He recalls the pokemon into their separate pokeballs, and puts a hand to his face.]

... Children. I am dealing with children. Large... animal children.

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Mimic... what now?

[Calling them 'his' children is way too weird of a concept for an alien robot to fully grasp and adopt. He knows of children, and the general mindset of a young person -- it's easier to think of them like trainees.]

... Supersoakers?

Oh. They're, uh.

Guns that shoot water.

[Looooong pause.]

... Why water?

Because it's pretty much the only thing you can let little kids shoot without killing each other.

... Though god bless 'em, they sure try to.

_{[Oh yes, she has very fond memories involving summer days and epic water fights on the playground.]}

Guns are used as toys?

[This sounds like insanity.]

... Uh... yeah?

_{[~*~AMERICA~*~]}

... Not real ones. ... Unless the parents are REALLY irresponsible, but...

That is insanity. They will have no respect for the weapons!

Well, that's humanity for you...

Believe me, I didn't really respect weapons until I had to use them for real.

_{[And Harry had even been one of the responsible parents-- when he'd taught her how to shoot, he spent more time telling her how dangerous firearms were than he actually spent letting her use the gun.]}

Your kind need to learn more respect for your weapons. You may become less violent that way.

[Says the giant alien robot soldier who rips Decepticons apart for a living.]

_{[LOOK WHO'S TALKING-- he is right, though-- and Heather's tone is wry when she answers.]}

Might help... but t'be totally honest, I think our violent nature has nothing to do with weapons.

Hmnf.

Should look into changing your nature.

If I knew how to, I would.

Worst things I've ever seen done to anybody were done with bare hands.

_{[The cult wasn't exactly great at child safety.]}

Hmn.

... Guess I should not talk. Optimus... always said your race was much like ours.

... Z'at so?

_{[The curiosity in her tone is obvious.]}

Yeah. It is.

... He was fond of you. Of humans.

... S'sorta funny. In most sci-fi stories, the robots are the ones who wanna destroy us.

Was he your leader?

Do not relax. Megatron and his Decepticons do want to see your race destroyed. Needless slaughter is not our way.

[He falls silent, looking down. When he speaks up, his voice is uncharacteristically quiet.]

He was.

_{[... Huh, Decepticon... that sounded familiar for some reason. But she couldn't put her finger on it.]}

Hngh. You'd think what with what we have to deal with on Earth, we'd already have ENOUGH problems without evil robots from spac-- ... Oh.

.... M'sorry.

That is... why we came. To stop them. To protect you. I will continue to do so. Even here.

[He falls silent yet again. This time, he only nods. This is a difficult subject. He... hasn't even told Cliffjumper about it.]

That's rough.

_{[... And she means on both counts. Because it's hard for her to think of a species quite so keen on destroying itself as humanity itself-- sort of a hard race to protect, if the number of times the world had almost ended in a tiny little town that hardly anybody knew about was anything to go by...]}

... But y'know... sometimes people who've... y'know, died back home... sometimes they come here.

Can be. But protection... that is my function. My purpose.

[He blinks -- looking up briefly.]

... how is that possible?

Nobody knows, but... it is.

_{[She pauses for a second, then adds--]}

If it weren't, my dad wouldn't be here.

... Your parent?

Er-- ... yeah. My father. _{[Something about the question makes her metaphorical hackles go up, but then she reminds herself that the guy's a robot, he probably doesn't get the whole mom-and-dad thing.]}

[He's quiet again.]

...

Good. Good for you.

[And he means that.]

[Video]

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