show_my_cannons | 17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

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17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

[Somewhere in Goldenrod, there is a massive black robot. He's about 25' tall, well over four tons, and armed to the teeth.]

[He also looks excessively proud of himself as he kicks snow out of his path. This is the image the 'gear shows over the network.]

About time I was returned to my frame. Cold is hardly a problem now.

[For emphasis, he scoops some of said snow into one huge hand, and compacts it into what may be the largest and most deadly snowball Jhoto has ever seen.]

... Hmm.

[Be warned, citizens. The old weapons master is just looking for a target.]

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_{[He hears the engine revv and picks up the pace. DB WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM HE DIDN"T EVEN HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY...DID HE LOOK MUG-WORTHY?]

[Then he hears a very different sound and then his path is blocked by a THING. A thing that sounded horrifyingly familiar. And it was then that Henry knew in his heart that no matter what color his hair was, he was fucked.]

[He backs away and manages to squeak out an--]}

_{_Aah!}

[Oh, Henry. This is why you don't screw with the giant robot's head. He is, in fact, a giant robot. And can deal about as much damage as one would expect of a giant robot.]

[He just sort of looms over Henry, before panels on his arms start unfolding, and the giant cannons emerge.]

It is time to ask yourself one thing.

[He takes a step forward, the cannons beginning to whir as they power up.]

Do you feel lucky?

[A step.]

Do you, punk?

_{[Henry's knees pointed inwards.]}

No!

_{[He felt very UNlucky. But...in a sort of weird way this was probably one of the coolest ways to die ever. It sure beat getting pummeled to death by a giant two-headed baby with man hands.]

[Henry folded his arms over his head.]}

[The big Autobot appears unmoved by the terror in ~~his victim~~ the human.]

[Instead, he simply looms, his cannons making threatening noises.]

You feel like telling me the real reason your hair turned colors, boy?

Do you?

_{[With every click and whurr the robot's cannons make, Henry responds with an equally appropriate squeak.]

[This was no way for a god-killer-to-be to act! But it's what he was doing. Because holy shit. He couldn't fend off a giant ROBOT! He didn't have a shovel or anything!]}

Aaeehhuuhhhmnuhhhh.

_{[That means, 'No.' Mr. Ironhide. Henry's quaking eventually sends him to his knees there on the street.]}

I'm sorry!

[The little shriek and the apology is apparently satisfying enough. Ironhide grunts, and twirls his cannons back into his arms.]

Good.

Now get up. Stand up straight.

I don't remember how!

_{[Look at him, Ironhide. He's just a poor stoner kid. How do?]}

[Well, only one thing to be done.]

[He reaches down, and picks Henry up. ... he makes an attempt to set him on his feet, at least.]

_{[LEGS. LIKE. NOODLES.]}

Leave me alone!

_{[Henry flails a little and pounds a fist on one of Ironhide's hard metal hands.]

[D'B Assdfsdfdsggl. Not his best idea.]}

I want to. But you refuse to stand up.

[So he just keeps letting Henry dangle in his fingers. And swat at him.]

You done yet?

_{[After much flailing the little horror protagonist had had enough.]

[He just dangled there with his arms at his sides. 8c This sucked.]}

Are you going to eat me?

[There's a silence, while Ironhide just... looks at Henry as if he started speaking in Tongues.]

How and why would I ingest you?

Isn't that what giant robots do? Eat people?

_{[Henry suddenly forgot about the part where Ironhide was a soldier. 8c he was busy trying not to look delicious. He tried to walk in air. Oh, so his legs worked again...]}

I don't taste very good.

No.

Who told you that?

[He sees that air walking, and goes to put the crazy man down.]

_{[When Henry's feet touch the ground he just tries to escape again. DB Fffnfngngh!]}

[And Ironhide picks him right back up again.]

_{[Squawk. TRANSFORMERS WERE NO LONGER COOL. THEY WERE TERRIFYING.]}

What do you want from me!?

I want an explanation.

For your hair nonsense.

_{[D'B THIS WAS NOT HOW THINGS WERE SUPPOSED TO GO.]}

It was just a prank! A joke! I'm sorry!

... Fine.

[And he sets Henry down.]

Run along.

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17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

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