show_my_cannons | 17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

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17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

[Somewhere in Goldenrod, there is a massive black robot. He's about 25' tall, well over four tons, and armed to the teeth.]

[He also looks excessively proud of himself as he kicks snow out of his path. This is the image the 'gear shows over the network.]

About time I was returned to my frame. Cold is hardly a problem now.

[For emphasis, he scoops some of said snow into one huge hand, and compacts it into what may be the largest and most deadly snowball Jhoto has ever seen.]

... Hmm.

[Be warned, citizens. The old weapons master is just looking for a target.]

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_{[ c: DOOPA DOOPA DOOP. Henry is herping along the street in search of some potions. He has no fucking clue he's not in Ecruteak and he CERTAINLY has no clue what is about to happen to him.]}

[Oh.]

[Oh he knows that human.]

[As quietly as possible, Ironhide transforms. Afterward, the big black truck not-so-stealthily starts driving along behind Henry.]

_{[c: DO DE DOO DOO...doo....dee....doo. 8( Okay slow moving cars are kinda creepy. Especially with all the Rocket wtf-ery that's been going on and the fact that there aren't many cars around in Johto. He moves a little further onto the sidewalk.]}

[The truck just keeps following. It's driving right up against the sidewalk.]

_{[ 8(;;;; This was kind of not cool.]

[However. If Henry would stop eating berries meant for pokemon he'd probably have the smarts to just...go into one of the buildings until the scary truck left. But no. He's going to start jogging through the slush and snow. 8c Phff. Phff. Phff. What is physical exercise?]}

[The truck continues to follow him. The snow is no obstacle to this beast of a vehicle.]

[Until it comes to an intersection. Then it turns, leaving him be.]

[This is, however, nothing more than a clever ruse -- he's circling around to get in front of Henry.]

_{[When the truck changes directions, Henry lets out a huge sigh and feels silly. 8I;; Oh, Townshend, y u so paranoid? Feeling much better, the photographer obliviously continues on his search for healing items.]}

[... and then the truck pulls around a corner, right in front of the intrepid photographer.]

[It stops.]

[Like it's waiting.]

_{[Henry skids to a stop. 8[ This was back to being not cool.]

[You know what? He didn't need potion today. He isn't even going to go training against wild pokemon until tomorrow anyway. He turns around and does this sort of awkward half noodle-run. Away. Away from the scary black van that was probably full of guns and people with Mr. Mimes in robber masks or someshit.]

[Man, fuck Mr. Mime.]}

[The truck speeds up, keeping pace with Henry, even through the snow, before speeding ahead of him...]

[And transforming.]

[The process complete, he leans down to peer at Henry.]

...

Boo.

Edited 2011-12-12 03:59 (UTC)

_{[He hears the engine revv and picks up the pace. DB WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM HE DIDN"T EVEN HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY...DID HE LOOK MUG-WORTHY?]

[Then he hears a very different sound and then his path is blocked by a THING. A thing that sounded horrifyingly familiar. And it was then that Henry knew in his heart that no matter what color his hair was, he was fucked.]

[He backs away and manages to squeak out an--]}

_{_Aah!}

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_{[Well, let's just say that Heather's sufficiently recovered from her scare with the corpse in the backroom... maybe her manager was in fact able to get rid of the body, and maybe gave her the day off to recover from the trauma or something.]

[Either way, she's plodding along through the snow in her coat and Appropriately Silly Winter Hat (tm), when she spots a familiar gargantuan metal construction looming over the bare treetops.]

[... And holding a giant handful of snow.]

[... WELL THEN.]

[Heather is fully aware that what she's about to do is pretty stupid and may in fact result in severe injury, but she wouldn't be Heather if she let things like that stop her from doing them.]

[There's a characteristic PIFF and patter of snow as a MUCH-SMALLER snowball comes sailing up from the ground a short distance away and strikes Ironhide's arm.]

[He's a pretty big target.]

[She just couldn't resist.]}

[When he feels that PIFF, his head actually snaps around, with something like murder in his expression... before it registers that the projectile was only snow, and the point of origin was a familiar human figure.]

[Well then.]

[The massive snowball in his hand is, almost carelessly, lobbed in Heather's direction.]

_{[... You totally knew this was going to happen, Heather. There's no excuse whatsoever for the overexaggerated OH CRAP face you make when he throws that giant wad of snow.]

[Needless to say she performs a rather impressive awkward noodly run through the snow to dodge the huge snowball-- but it's a little too slow so in the end the only way to avoid it is sort of to just THROW HERSELF FORWARDS out of its way.]

[Which results in a total faceplant into the snow. WOMP.]

[humans are such dignified and majestic creatures aren't they]}

[How come all the Silent Hill protags have noodly runs...]

[And while she's faceplanted in the snow, he limps over to where the sad pile of teenage girl is sprawled out. He nudges her with one huge toe.]

You still functioning?

_{[Because they are all awkward dorks, apparently. At least she's not as bad as Henry. ... Or James, god forbid.]

[At the prod, she rolls over in the snow-- taking a fair amount of it with her, plastered to her clothes.]

[And then she gives him a grin and a thumbs-up.]}

No serious damage detected.

[He's never met James, so he couldn't say.]

Good.

[He crouches down, with a creak and grind of cold joints, examining her.]

Your aim was off. It needs work.

_{[She sits up, dusting snow off of her front.]}

Yeah? I was aiming for your head, but you're like... super tall, and my arms are out of shape.

_{[She lifts one arm and flexes it in demonstration.]}

... Still hit you, though!

Then perhaps we should practice, hmn?

[Since the cold isn't bothering his frame right now, he's quiet happy to stomp around in the powder, and fling it all around.]

[He tilts his head, his expression one of a raised eyebrow.]

_{[A grin, and then she clambers upright. ... There's already another clump of snow in her hands. WILLING STUDENT? YES. YES, SHE IS.]}

Startiiiiiinnng... now?

Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

[He rolls his shoulders, before he lowers a hand down to her.]

Up you get.

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