show_my_cannons | 17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

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17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

[Somewhere in Goldenrod, there is a massive black robot. He's about 25' tall, well over four tons, and armed to the teeth.]

[He also looks excessively proud of himself as he kicks snow out of his path. This is the image the 'gear shows over the network.]

About time I was returned to my frame. Cold is hardly a problem now.

[For emphasis, he scoops some of said snow into one huge hand, and compacts it into what may be the largest and most deadly snowball Jhoto has ever seen.]

... Hmm.

[Be warned, citizens. The old weapons master is just looking for a target.]

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[He knocks some snow off a tree with his elbow, catching it in his other hand.]

My cannons fire fusion blasts and plasma warheads. Frozen water would not survive so much as a micro-second.

Darn. That would have been pretty cool if you could fire snow. Oh well.

_{[She eyes the snow he got off the tree, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.]}

... How far can you throw with just your arm, anyway?

What would be the use for combat purposes?

[Because, Heather, that's what his guns are for. Killing things.]

[... speaking of which, she may notice there are two more of said weapons strapped to his back. That weren't there before.]

How far did you want me to throw?

_{[If Heather knew a way to use her own arsenal back home for stupid play purposes without accidentally killing somebody, she totally would.]

[She just shrugs, grinning crookedly.]}

Dunno. Just think it'd be AWESOME for snowball fights.

_{[Then she scans the snow-covered horizon, shielding her eyes with one hand.]}

... As far as you can.

[He can't even think of using his weapons for play. That's what fists are for, not guns.]

And when would I have a snow ball fight? Hmn?

[He looks at the snowball in his hand. Then at the horizon. Readouts and calculations flit over his HUD.]

[He winds up.]

[... Yeah that snowball is history.]

_{[... how bout right now. C'mon Ironhide you know you wanna go throw snow at some wild Onix or something.]

[But Heather shrugs again, falling silent in favor of paying her full attention to the upcoming throw. In preparation, she holds on tighter to avoid getting thrown OFF of his shoulder just from the heave-- and WHOA. Dude. ... That snowball (snowBOULDER, more like) is SO gone.]}

... That. Was. Awesome.

[Honestly, he'd probably rather punch some wild pokemon. That's so much more satisfying.]

[He rolls his shoulders as it sails off into the wild blue yonder.]

It was all right.

_{[But-- ... but... think of the giant snow explosions!]

[She wobbles and shifts her feet as he rolls his shoulder-- it's an exercise in balance just as much as it is a ride.]}

All right? All right?

The only way to make THAT better would be to throw it into SPACE.

[Into space...]

[Very slowly, Ironhide looks up at the sky. He stands this way for a minute or two, frowning.]

No. Not possible. The snow would melt upon meeting the atmosphere.

Well, yeah. That was the point.

It was awesome.

[Oh now he just looks smug.]

_{[She grins, and then raps her knuckles on the side of his head. Since... hey, it's right there.]}

All right, enough smirking.

_{[That's rich coming from her, but then she points off at a different spot on the horizon.]}

Hey. Try and hit that tree on the hill waaaaaaay over there.

[The bit of metal her knuckles tap actually... rotates. And he pulls his head away -- that was his audio receptor, thanks.]

What, that one there?

[POINT.]

_[WHOOPS.]

Yeah! That one!

The spindly... birchy-lookin' one.

Hmn. All right.

[Now he goes to gather more snow for his next boulder. The aiming, the calculations... the whole circus takes place once again.]

[Until he lobs the snow boulder with all his strength.]

_{[HE SHOOTS... HE SCORES!]

[... And with a splintering crack, the tree sort of... topples over.]}

Whoa.

.... Wonder if we'll get in trouble for that.

[He snorts, shaking bits of snow off his hand.]

Why would we? It was an accident.

Yeah, but MAN. You know how the Jennies are.

... Man I wonder if there's any coming.

_{[She climbs a little higher on his shoulder and shields her eyes against the glare on the snow.]

[SHE DOESN'T WANNA END UP ON THE RUN. ... Although... all things considered? Being arrested for convincing a robot to hurl snow missiles at a tree hard enough to knock it down is probably one of the more awesome things to go onto a criminal record out there.]}

No.

Should I?

[He stands stock still, and lets her climb around. Honestly, he doesn't know anything about the Jennies... because he's never broken a law here.]

[And he can't see why breaking a tree would be against their laws.]

Dude, they're TOTALLY crazy!

_{[She stands on tip-toe, still peering out at the horizon.]}

They'll issue warrants for you, for like... totally stupid mundane stuff!

And stuff that wasn't even your fault!

[His good optic flicks in her direction, critically.]

... What did you do?

_{[... You know her too well, Ironhide.]

[Heather freezes and flicks her eyes off to the side, sucking her lips inward.]}

... I might've given a nurse a concussion with an IV pole.

... And bitten some police officers.

_{... on live camera.}

[Excuse him, Heather. While he carefully presses his hand against his face.]

_{[Her voice rises an octave in indignation as she spreads her arms.]}

I was hallucinating, all right?!

You were hallucinating what?

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[Action] I AM SORRY FOR MY TINY FONT ;o;