show_my_cannons | 17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

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17 -- 4th Wall Event -- Video/Action

[Somewhere in Goldenrod, there is a massive black robot. He's about 25' tall, well over four tons, and armed to the teeth.]

[He also looks excessively proud of himself as he kicks snow out of his path. This is the image the 'gear shows over the network.]

About time I was returned to my frame. Cold is hardly a problem now.

[For emphasis, he scoops some of said snow into one huge hand, and compacts it into what may be the largest and most deadly snowball Jhoto has ever seen.]

... Hmm.

[Be warned, citizens. The old weapons master is just looking for a target.]

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_{[ 8(;;;; This was kind of not cool.]

[However. If Henry would stop eating berries meant for pokemon he'd probably have the smarts to just...go into one of the buildings until the scary truck left. But no. He's going to start jogging through the slush and snow. 8c Phff. Phff. Phff. What is physical exercise?]}

[The truck continues to follow him. The snow is no obstacle to this beast of a vehicle.]

[Until it comes to an intersection. Then it turns, leaving him be.]

[This is, however, nothing more than a clever ruse -- he's circling around to get in front of Henry.]

_{[When the truck changes directions, Henry lets out a huge sigh and feels silly. 8I;; Oh, Townshend, y u so paranoid? Feeling much better, the photographer obliviously continues on his search for healing items.]}

[... and then the truck pulls around a corner, right in front of the intrepid photographer.]

[It stops.]

[Like it's waiting.]

_{[Henry skids to a stop. 8[ This was back to being not cool.]

[You know what? He didn't need potion today. He isn't even going to go training against wild pokemon until tomorrow anyway. He turns around and does this sort of awkward half noodle-run. Away. Away from the scary black van that was probably full of guns and people with Mr. Mimes in robber masks or someshit.]

[Man, fuck Mr. Mime.]}

[The truck speeds up, keeping pace with Henry, even through the snow, before speeding ahead of him...]

[And transforming.]

[The process complete, he leans down to peer at Henry.]

...

Boo.

Edited 2011-12-12 03:59 (UTC)

_{[He hears the engine revv and picks up the pace. DB WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO HIM HE DIDN"T EVEN HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY...DID HE LOOK MUG-WORTHY?]

[Then he hears a very different sound and then his path is blocked by a THING. A thing that sounded horrifyingly familiar. And it was then that Henry knew in his heart that no matter what color his hair was, he was fucked.]

[He backs away and manages to squeak out an--]}

_{_Aah!}

[Oh, Henry. This is why you don't screw with the giant robot's head. He is, in fact, a giant robot. And can deal about as much damage as one would expect of a giant robot.]

[He just sort of looms over Henry, before panels on his arms start unfolding, and the giant cannons emerge.]

It is time to ask yourself one thing.

[He takes a step forward, the cannons beginning to whir as they power up.]

Do you feel lucky?

[A step.]

Do you, punk?

_{[Henry's knees pointed inwards.]}

No!

_{[He felt very UNlucky. But...in a sort of weird way this was probably one of the coolest ways to die ever. It sure beat getting pummeled to death by a giant two-headed baby with man hands.]

[Henry folded his arms over his head.]}

[The big Autobot appears unmoved by the terror in ~~his victim~~ the human.]

[Instead, he simply looms, his cannons making threatening noises.]

You feel like telling me the real reason your hair turned colors, boy?

Do you?

_{[With every click and whurr the robot's cannons make, Henry responds with an equally appropriate squeak.]

[This was no way for a god-killer-to-be to act! But it's what he was doing. Because holy shit. He couldn't fend off a giant ROBOT! He didn't have a shovel or anything!]}

Aaeehhuuhhhmnuhhhh.

_{[That means, 'No.' Mr. Ironhide. Henry's quaking eventually sends him to his knees there on the street.]}

I'm sorry!

[The little shriek and the apology is apparently satisfying enough. Ironhide grunts, and twirls his cannons back into his arms.]

Good.

Now get up. Stand up straight.

I don't remember how!

_{[Look at him, Ironhide. He's just a poor stoner kid. How do?]}

[Well, only one thing to be done.]

[He reaches down, and picks Henry up. ... he makes an attempt to set him on his feet, at least.]

_{[LEGS. LIKE. NOODLES.]}

Leave me alone!

_{[Henry flails a little and pounds a fist on one of Ironhide's hard metal hands.]

[D'B Assdfsdfdsggl. Not his best idea.]}

I want to. But you refuse to stand up.

[So he just keeps letting Henry dangle in his fingers. And swat at him.]

You done yet?

_{[After much flailing the little horror protagonist had had enough.]

[He just dangled there with his arms at his sides. 8c This sucked.]}

Are you going to eat me?

[There's a silence, while Ironhide just... looks at Henry as if he started speaking in Tongues.]

How and why would I ingest you?

Isn't that what giant robots do? Eat people?

_{[Henry suddenly forgot about the part where Ironhide was a soldier. 8c he was busy trying not to look delicious. He tried to walk in air. Oh, so his legs worked again...]}

I don't taste very good.